Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Boo Hoo, Abandoned by Hubby

Fear not, hubby hasn't run off leaving me to be a one-parent family, he's just gone away for work. But still, I don't like it one little bit. It's not that I'm jealous of where he's gone - I've been to Rotterdam and am therefore acutely aware that there is nothing to be jealous of (unlike, for instance, if he had gone to NYC or Bangkok or perhaps a country that would get him a tick on The List.) The reason I don't like it is because now we live in the countryside in a single-storey dwelling (it's NOT a bunglaow) I live in constant fear of burglars. So much so that the last time dear hubby abandoned me to my fate out here in the woods where no-one can hear me scream, I barely slept a wink for two nights running and had to set 'heffalump' traps (along the lines of Winnie the Pooh) to foil any would-be intruders. This time my mummy has come to look after me and I can sleep safely in my bed without the need for heffalump traps. It's not that mother is an all-in wrestler or sleeps with a shotgun under her bed, but somehow just having someone else here makes it all seem ok.

On a completely different note - today is a day for major (countrywide) celebrations, for today is the day I get paid for the first time since January! Hooray and huzzah! And guess what? Mum & I are going shopping. I predict this will be the end of the credit crunch as we know it - I'm almost certain that the reason the UK has fallen on such hard times is because I've not been out spending. No doubt the Chancellor will be giving me a call this afternoon to thank me personally for saving his behoonie (and I'll be pleased to give him a piece of my mind and tell him to hand over to the Conservatives asap - don't you agree, Ange?!) Notice how as soon as I left the good ol' US of A they were plunged into a recession. No doubt Barack Obama (sorry Mr McCain, I can't give you and your funny little redneck Alaskan friend my support) will be pleased to hear that I'm trying to overcome my fear of flying in order to fit in a Christmas shopping trip to NYC. Fear not Barack, my credit cards & I are on our way.

Dear hubby, please understand that the shopping I am about to do is for the good of the country. I am selfless in that way.

1 comment:

  1. But Justine...Caribou Barbie "Can see Russia from her house!" Come on...that isn't enough foreign policy experience for you???? LOL

    I used to be the same way when I was pregnant and Jamie would leave...I wonder if freak out genes breed in utero when preggers. Hmmmm something to chew on.


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