Hello! Hello!

Help; magazines are taking over our home and it's all my fault. I'm a sucker for magazines; I get a strange buzz when I buy a new one but then it inevitably just ends up joining the other magazines that currently reside at our house. And then my mum gives me her copies of Hello once she's finished with them, and hubby's mum gives me her copies of Good Housekeeping and Woman & Home - well, I'm not going to say no to free magazines, am I? Now, let's make one thing clear - I'm not collecting magazines in the way that some people collect stamps. Once I've read a magazine, I almost always then pass it on for someone else to enjoy, or else pop it in the recycling. But, until they're read, the magazines continue to pile up round and about, like one of those houses on 'Life of Grime' where people collect empty egg boxes and yoghurt pots and live in one square foot of space.

So, let's take a little tour around the house, shall we? Here we are in the living room - this is the little table next to 'my' chair.
I've just counted 14 magazines/catalogues in this pile, including at least three copies of Hello, one of Junior (purchased because it has an article on how to bring up boys), one of Country Life, one of Ideal Home and one of Country Living, plus the Mamas and Papas Spring/Summer catalogue and the M&S Home catalogue. The oldest mag in this pile dates from March 2009, and there are in fact three mags here that I bought to take in to hospital when I was giving birth to DC.

Let's turn round 180 degrees and what do we find? This huge cupboard.

And what's inside?This pile of 21 magazines, consisting mainly of Good Housekeeping and Woman & Home dating back as far as July 2008, but also including the IKEA and John Lewis home catalogues (did I mention I can't resist the catalogues that shops give out? Hours of fun drooling over all those things we can't afford/haven't got room for.)

Turn your head a little more, and what's that in the corner, peeking out from behind the sofa?
Ooo, it's a basket full of magazines. But lo! This one is mostly filled with hubby's copies of 'Gardeners' World' and 'Grow Your Own' (dating back as far as September 2006) and only a handful of my mags (including a Hello from October 2008 - Madonna & Guy split!) so I don't feel too bad about that; and it looks like hubby has a collection of much older mags than me so maybe he's the one with the problem...

Let's go in to the hallway (please excuse the delightful-looking underlay - we haven't yet decided on the new carpet.)
Mind you don't trip over the pram with the emergency 'what if I get stuck in a queue/lift/traffic jam/kidnap situation and haven't got my book with me' copy of Good Housekeeping, dating from June 2008.

Take a walk into the next room with me. What's that leaning against my soon-to-be desk?
A bag. And what's inside the bag? Yep, you guessed it.This time we have some Hellos (there's a surprise), along with various birth/pregnancy/parenting titles, Easy Living (a purchase sanctioned by hubby as it had a 15% off Cath Kidston voucher which we only later discovered wasn't valid for wallpaper, which was the only thing we wanted - grrr), Country Living and Good Housekeeping.

Now, what's under the stairs? Oh yes, it's the downstairs loo. And what does every loo need? Reading material (can also come in handy if the loo roll runs out.) Just two mags here - Wanderlust from April/May 2007 and Grow Your Own from August 2006. I probably could do with replacing or at least supplementing these - you wouldn't want to be stuck in here with this rather paltry selection.

Now, come on through to the kitchen. What's that on the table, apart from all the mess/laptop/cafetiere/teddy bear?
Oooo, it's a copy of Hello dating back to, wait for it, 23 December 2008. At least I'm actually reading this issue and, lucky me, I'm just discovering how fashion designer Roberto Cavalli and family, as well as Simon Cowell & Sinitta, are planning to spend their Christmasses (Simon & Sinitta were off to his luxury villa in Barbados, in case you were wondering; the Cavalli family look as if they were going to indulge in a little more plastic surgery.)

Now, come on up the stairs, and what's this on the edge of the bath (near my rather glamorous shower cap?)Hello! And a surprisingly recent copy - 22 June 2009 no less. This one is also in the process of being read and I'm happy to discover that Madonna has been successful in collecting, oops, I mean adopting, another child.

So, there you have it. If you hear of a worldwide shortage of newsprint, just drop me an email and I'll come straight to the rescue. Perhaps you could leave me a comment to let me know I'm not the only one who does this. Or a comment recommending where I can go for help. Magazine Addicts Anonymous perchance?